The grief you’re experiencing is not just dealing with sadness – the flood of memories, the ache of missing our husbands, the void left in their absence all bring levels of emotions that must be dealt with – but it’s not just sorrow, but a complete overhaul of life as you once knew it.

When someone close to us dies, our lives are changed…even more so when it’s a spouse. I’ve read that losing a spouse is at the top of the all time most stressful events a person can experience. That’s because every aspect of our lives are affected: our routines, our sleeping patterns, our eating habits, the way we spend our free time…so many aspects of our lives must be adjusted as we deal with this major life transition.

While we are brokenhearted and sad that our loves are no longer with us, the grieving process – our widow walk- goes way beyond the emotional effects. The consequences of our grief can also affect us physically (fatigue, health issues, eating, sleeping), mentally (widow’s fog, trouble concentrating, unable to comprehend), and spiritually (neglect church attendance, difficulty reading the Bible, struggle with praying). These are all real issues that grief compounds in our lives.

Grief is a process that is different for everyone. Depending on life circumstances will determine how long it takes to find more secure footing and embrace a “new normal” where you will eventually feel able to function in a more stable fashion. Grief cannot be rushed or bypassed. Don’t let people make you feel like you need “to get over it” or “you need to move on” before you’re ready! It’s a much more complicated journey that’s only understood by those of us who have experienced it personally.

This painful journey is not easy, but I have personally found in my almost 13 years of being a widow that relying on God has given me the strength to endure, the peace to deal with the heartache, the hope that life can still be blessed, and the assurance that He cares for me.

Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Psalm 62: 5-6