The empty seat at the table, the vacant comfortable chair he claimed, no one to sit beside in church, driving places alone, …the list goes on and on of ways we miss our dear husbands. Father’s Day stands out as a stark reminder that he’s no longer here to honor and pamper on his special day.

After the first year of dealing with all the “first” holidays and special occasions, many people incorrectly assume that we “get over it”. That is far from the case! We may be doing well adjusting to our new lives, but we still miss our husbands…and the fathers they were. With the passage of time, it does seem to get easier to deal with for most widows, but the lingering heartache can rear its ugly head at the most random times…especially on special occasions.

Celebrating the memory of your husband on Father’s Day is extremely personal but I would encourage you to take time to and honor him either just by yourself or with family.

Here are some suggestions for honoring/remembering your husband that you might want to consider:

• Write down a memory of your husband – a story, a familiar phrase he always used, what made him laugh, a characteristic or quirk he had- allow yourself to take time to linger with that memory, cherish it, and be thankful for it.
• Share memories with family members.
• Memory stones: use markers to write his name, a character trait, his favorite saying, a Bible verse, etc.
• Write a letter to your husband. Say what you miss the most about him, what did he teach you about life, anything you wish you’d said before he died, thank him for all the ways he enriched your life.
• Spend the day doing something he loved or in a place he loved going.
• Cook his favorite foods.

Whatever applies to your husband, your relationship, your family dynamics will determine what ways you’ll choose to remember your husband on Father’s Day. It may be doing nothing at all because you’re too overcome by grief. That’s okay too. Allow yourself to feel sad, abandoned, alone, confused, unsure…whatever emotions are hitting you during this time. It’s okay. You aren’t “doing it wrong” or “going crazy” or “not making progress”. Grief is not a straight path. You can be doing fine when all of a sudden some unexpected trigger will cause a wave of grief to overcome you. That’s all normal.

So as we face this Father’s Day holiday this weekend, allow yourself grace as you deal with the bittersweet memories of times past and the man who was such a part of your life and the lives of your children. Cherish your husband and the time you spent together. Honor his legacy.

During this time, ask Jesus to walk beside you and your family and hold you close. Allow Him to strengthen and comfort you as only He can.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:48

I will turn their mourning into laughter and their sadness into joy; I will comfort them. Jeremiah 31:13

…God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26