For many years, my husband and I hosted Fourth of July celebrations. There would be as many as 100 family, friends, and church members who would attend potluck cookouts in our backyard.

On July 3, 2003, the year when we had celebrated our 25th anniversary a few weeks earlier, my husband surprised me with a vow renewal ceremony complete with several of our original wedding party present. It was such a special day and one of my fondest memories of our marriage.

So the 4th of July holds a special place in my heart beyond being the birthday of the United States. I have so many precious memories of these backyard parties as well as other special gatherings with family and friends.

People tend to think of the “major” holidays (like Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.) being depressing and difficult for those who are grieving, but the truth is, any holiday is not the same as it was when our husbands were with us.

This weekend when we see others making plans with cookouts, picnics, fireworks displays, lake trips, pool parties, etc. and while we may even participate, it’s just not the same and may possibly trigger waves of grief, anxiety, or sadness. These are normal reactions, not setbacks in your grief recovery.

Be gentle with yourself when you face these grief triggers. Allow yourself permission to skip any plans that will be too difficult for you at this stage of your widow’s walk. It’s okay to leave early if you need to or avoid certain situations. Do whatever is best for you regardless of the expectations of others.

Grief triggers assault us. Sometimes they’re expected, others blindside us. Some are easier to deal with. Others can devastate us.

May God comfort you as you face any grief triggers this weekend.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7